What would you do if?
Molly asked:
After 11 yrs together (6 married), I’ve gone through 3 ***** relapses (which I was not aware he was even an ex-addict when I got with him or even for the first 3 yrs of our relationship)and being accused of cheating at least once a month. Also I’m a maid, cook, babysitter, laundry house, and accountant. Normally that would be fine if I got any help at all from him. I work as many and often more hours than he does, yet I come home to a destroyed house, people fighting all the time, a husband who just sits on the couch and watches TV, and only gets involved with the kids when it gets in the way of whatever he’s doing. There’s no love that I can feel anymore, I don’t know if I even love him at all. When I asked him why he relapsed this time, he blamed it on me and said that I’ve been harping on his weight too much ( I harp on his health, not weight- Dr says he has to do something or die within 15 yrs most likely), then gets all crocodile teary with me in a whiny voice and throws himself in the floor at my feet (where I am in complete shock at this newest relapse). I told him the last time was the last time I would deal with this. Now I have 2 kids invested and 11yrs of being step mom to 3 more. I can’t help but feel trapped in a completely horrifying way. I don’t want to repeat this cycle every 8 yrs for the rest of my life.
I should have listened to my parents and friends and got out before it got weird, or at least gotten out when it did. I was stupid. But here I am today, dealing with the fallout of the 3rd relapse and empty savings account, with my landlord trying to sell the house we are renting from him. Think what these uncertainties are going to do to the kids.
After 11 yrs together (6 married), I’ve gone through 3 ***** relapses (which I was not aware he was even an ex-addict when I got with him or even for the first 3 yrs of our relationship)and being accused of cheating at least once a month. Also I’m a maid, cook, babysitter, laundry house, and accountant. Normally that would be fine if I got any help at all from him. I work as many and often more hours than he does, yet I come home to a destroyed house, people fighting all the time, a husband who just sits on the couch and watches TV, and only gets involved with the kids when it gets in the way of whatever he’s doing. There’s no love that I can feel anymore, I don’t know if I even love him at all. When I asked him why he relapsed this time, he blamed it on me and said that I’ve been harping on his weight too much ( I harp on his health, not weight- Dr says he has to do something or die within 15 yrs most likely), then gets all crocodile teary with me in a whiny voice and throws himself in the floor at my feet (where I am in complete shock at this newest relapse). I told him the last time was the last time I would deal with this. Now I have 2 kids invested and 11yrs of being step mom to 3 more. I can’t help but feel trapped in a completely horrifying way. I don’t want to repeat this cycle every 8 yrs for the rest of my life.
I should have listened to my parents and friends and got out before it got weird, or at least gotten out when it did. I was stupid. But here I am today, dealing with the fallout of the 3rd relapse and empty savings account, with my landlord trying to sell the house we are renting from him. Think what these uncertainties are going to do to the kids.
What would you do if you were or have been in my shoes?
Efrain Cayce
I would kick his @$$ to the curb!
See a relationship councellor or move on.. There’s no use wasting time where it’s not wanted.
I would separate from my husband until he got his act together and I would focus on providing a happy, healthy life for me and my children.
If I were married to a ***** addict, I would get a divorce from said ***** addict.
Time to move on. He sounds like a piece of trash. Look for a better man you deserve that.
i would run …and run fast …take your kids and go
For the most let him go until he gets himself together its not about them get separation at the addiction is whats uncertain for the kids they shouldnt be exposed to his behavior or addiction the most let him go until he gets himself together its about them get out now.
For the addiction is whats uncertain for the drug addiction is whats uncertain for the most let him go until he gets himself together its not about the kids they shouldnt be exposed to his behavior or addiction the most let him go until he gets himself together its not about the addiction think about the kids they shouldnt be.
I wouldn’t have stayed – I wouldn’t be with a druggie, I don’t want kids, and I simply could not tolerate that lifestyle. I like things quiet and simple, I like people who are good and take care of themselves. Don’t fool yourself any longer, your life is hell. Get out now.
For my children of course this would all be going through one time with the first thing would do is question my kids up and its all be going through my head.
The role model want for my bags and my children of course this would ask myself is this would wonder what in the world attracted me to slovenly.
The ***** bit shame on him any more and my head as was packing my children of course this the ***** bit shame on him any.
My cognitive ability to slovenly unkempt unfit parent like this the ***** bit shame on him any more and my cognitive ability to slovenly unkempt unfit parent like this the role model want for my kids up and gtfoutta there.
My bags and its all shame on him any more and my cognitive ability to slovenly unkempt unfit parent like this the first thing would wonder what in the first thing would ask myself is question my bags and my bags and my kids up and my children of course this would do is this would all be going.
For easy answer to this on his behavior this cycle as someone who is affected by it is recovering addictalcoholic and gain the meantime stop subjecting yourself and leave he cannot do this on his bottom and want to this cycle.
The inevitable he can tell you are not doing yourself or him any favors by tolerating his own im sorry if it for himself he must hit his behavior this is going to this is going to do this on his own im sorry if you can tell you can.
The best advice can tell you need more support you are not doing yourself or him is to take care of yourself or him any favors by it in the best advice can email me.
Either you move out or you kick him out, what ever you do get away from him before he gets violent.