Health Savings Account-Health Savings Account Info

cubikool asked:


My wife has accused me of being abusive and controlling. Her idea of abusive is me saying hurtful things in the heat of an argument. She says I am controlling because I make all the money, pay all the bills, and decide where we live and what we can afford to do. We live in an apartment in Arizona and her and I have both shared the dream of moving to California (where we are both originally from) but in the 5 years we have been married I have been obligated to make tough decisions on lease renewals, and security for the health of our kids. She hasn’t worked much in five years and is home all the time getting home sick from California and cabin fever. She hates it here and because she does I **** it here in AZ too. I have been a fulltime student for the past 2 years and have had little time to focus on sending resumes to cali and look for a place to live out there. But now I am done with my degree and can start making plans and moves to get us out there.
The problem…
I had let school prioritize over many things because I felt it was important to our future while letting little things in a marriage that count slip. She took a vacation with her ‘girls’ in the summer to Las Vegas and has been different ever since. We lived like roommates for a whole month sleeping in separate rooms. Our arguments never got resolved as I was working and going to school full time and burdened by responsibility. She become fed up with that and kept threatening to run away with the kids to her moms house in California. I eventually told her to just go thinking it would help our situation but she hasn’t come back for 2 months and I spent every extra dollar I had to visit for the holidays. She feels like I wanted a divorce and I can’t remember if I said the ‘d’ word or not but I have been telling her I miss her and want her to come home ever since she left. She doesn’t want to come home on account of her ‘girls’ being within proximity and they have been going out drinking every chance they get. My wife tells me how much fun she is having talking to strange men and how sad it is that a ‘stranger’ is nicer to her then me and actually “likes” her. Then she drops the bomb… “I don’t want to be married anymore and I don’t want to be a mom anymore”. I am personally sorry that I can’t charm her like these strangers in these difficult times-I mean none of this is ‘fun’ for me and I really can’t focus on partying and having good times until I am certain that we can both find the problem(s) and remedy them. I am no longer distracted by school and she is coming home in two days against her will (her family is burdened by her staying with them). I am so happy that I am going to get her back so we can have proximity again. I feel if she is here we have a better chance of working things out. I want to show her that I love her more than any stranger does and I could make her feel just as special and desirable as any stranger could but I feel so emasculated over my wife…my wife! Having these feelings of putting me second while she pursues a life she once had as a teenager. So how can I remain strong and step up as a man to save my marriage? Any other suggestions would be helpful too.

Grant Reta

Vito asked:


My girlfriend and I had a child a few years back. We both have jobs but I make more than half her income. We decided not to put our child in daycare. She wanted to stay home with our child and work at night. Throughout the whole time of doing this she has been resentful of me because I have a career job (but I had this before I met her) and she has to be a waitress at night. But, I think “does she really have too?” No. I told her she could get a day career job if she wants. But she didn’t so we were left with our situation. In making this easier I paid the rent for the last few years, utilities, and the majority of entertainment. Her job was to pay for groceries, phone, and her own bills. She has paid off a lot of her bills/debt with this arrangement.

She is still resentful because she wants to have a joint account, wants me to pay for some of her bills, I should have gotten her health insurance, how could I ask her for money sometimes for little things, I believe that expenses should be shared but fairly. I thought I was being fair. She holds it against me all the time that I was able to save money for a house I decided to buy. She complains and holds things against me that she was working nights and she helped me save the money because I didn’t have to pay daycare, and that she put her career on hold and has nothing to show for it. She complains that I should have shared my money and “how could you let your girlfriend have no health insurance, and not help her pay her bills with all the savings I had”. My explanation is that I am helping her by not getting her to pay much for living expenses, and taking care of most of the entertainment, buying her things she likes, giving her money to help her. Mind you, whenever she needs money I help her out. I also told her to get health insurance and I would reduce her even more paying living expenses. What is wrong with this picture? What am I not doing right and am I being reasonable and fair?
The baby is under my own insurance. I told her to get insurance through her work and I would help her.

Ernest Virgilio

asked:


I have been with my husband for 17 years now. We are both in our 40′s and have a 6 year old child together. I will not bore you with details but I have found a back-bone that I have been missing all my life. I cut my family out of my life (my mother is deranged and tried to kidnap my child while in a grocery store in broad daylight…thankfully someone stopped her and she didn’t get too far). My brother is a convicted felon for stealing firearms from a residence and money from his employer. My sister is not stable and is known to have a drug issue. The only family that I have is my in-laws which in the case of divorce they will take sides with my husband of course. And friends? All the friends I am allowed or was ever allowed to have was either wives or girlfriends of his buddies. And one of his friends that I trusted knows this is going on between us and said that unfortunately he would have to side with my husband. So there went any hope of that person to lean on! I want to divorce my husband because I cannot get passed his previous indisgressions or his passive aggressive behavior anymore. I can’t deal with it!! Years of pleading to go to a counselor or therapy or even church was all “okay lets do it” but when I made the arrangements it was always “yeah i don’t think that’s such a good idea cuz therapy leads to more divorce and fights than you go in with”. So here I have been stuck for years. I am the sole caretaker of our child. He says he helps but he doesn’t. (Remember passive aggressive behavior lets them believe that they are never at fault and if something is said about their lack of behavior it has to be something else besides them.) So I decide that I am not doing this anymore because it’s preventing me from being the happy good person that I am and want to be. It’s effecting my parenting and just everything in my life. I know that I can do this on my own. I am not scared of being alone or having to sacrifice. I’ve done that all my life. My child is now feeling the full effect at the age of 6 of daddy and how he really is. I am accused of putting these things into my child’s head but I have not and our kid figured it out. Anyways… I have decided that I want to go forward regardless of what my husband wants. I have gotten a better job with significant pay and health/dental benefits I can afford through work for me and my child. I have been trying to save…the type of business that I am in I have to have a payroll account which my paycheck is direct deposited into and because it is a payroll account my husband cannot touch it. Before, I would have to take my entire paycheck and deposit into his account that did not have my name on it and I would have to ask him for money and tell him exactly what it was for. Then show receipts. Not anymore! But lately he’s been telling me that he needs money…I give him a specific amount that should cover my parts of household bills. The extra he is asking for has been in amounts of $400-$500 or more and it drained any amounts of savings that I was going to use to leave and get my own place with. I feel that he’s controlling me again by taking my money so I can’t leave. I’ve tried government agentcies but I have to be divorced or separated to get any help and I can’t get out to get those services! I am stuck in pergatory!!! There is no saving this marriage and I don’t even want to try. Those days have come and gone. And I feel that if my kid can figure out what’s going on then it’s got to be bad. I have no idea what to do here…he knows I want a divorce and I want to leave. He tells me that he doesn’t want a divorce…he doesn’t want to lose me or our child. I told him that I would never keep him from seeing our child and his response is “well eventually it will come down to me never seeing him/her again because you will start seeing someone else and start over and do you really think that I want to be around that? Forget it!” my response to that is “then that is your decision and it’s a pretty [crappy] one at that!” He’s all about appearances and how things look to people. He’s very materialistic. He never once said anything about “we’ll work it out” or take some time apart to regroup. It’s always “What will my friends think? You know how this will hurt my family if you leave? What’s this going to look like to everyone? If you leave I will have to sell the house (our house is paid off and there is no mortgage thanks to me) because I can’t afford it alone.” and his own mother (who I am not close with at all) was visiting from out of state and she picked up on our unhappiness right away and told me that it’s not worth my own happiness to stay just because of his silliness. So that’s kinda my story. Basically, I want out…he doesn’t…

Jeremiah Catchpole

Tyler G asked:


My mom has full cutudy of me and up until last week i have lived with my mom and then we got into a argument and she drove me to my dads.. so basically kicked me out. I have lived with my dad now for about a week with no communication from my mom. She didnt let me bring anything but my shoes for the first few days and then my stepmom went over there and made her pack a bag for me with a few things.. jus a few clothes. Nothing else. Np phone, laptop or any of my money that is mine that i left over there. She finally decides to call me today and im completly nice to her but then she says i cant have any more clothes or anything if i wanna stay at my dads. Which i have decided i am going to live here because first of all my mom cant even afford health insurance on me so i cant even go to the dentist. My dad can fully support me on health, college, and everything. He even said he would open a account to put my child support into that would jus be saved for when i go to college. Im 16 and a senior in highschool right now. And i am suppose to go to the beach in 6 days with my boyfriend who i complely love and my dad and stepmom wants me to go so that i can get my mind off things for a week and just have fun. But my mom said that i cannot go. But like i said i have decided i wanna live with my dad so he should have rights to let me go. What can my dad do to get him at least some rights as quickly as possible? Becuase like i said my mom cant hardly even afford to put dinner on the table and my dad is acually successful and easily can. Financially he is way better off. Theres gotta be some way that he can easily get some rights fast since i have been living with him for the last week. My mom has no problem with me living here if i decided to..which i have decided i want to. Please help me. Thank youu!

Veda Stilgenbauer

rd1982rd asked:


Hi here is the question Why Would a Single Strait sexually normal man/men want to get married at all?

These days there are way more cost then benefits for men to get married?
1)Jewelry is expensive A) engagements B) Wedding C) Holladay’s New Year, Christmas, Every Anniversary, Mothers day while child is still not smart enough to make a gift
2)Wedding cost some over 100K and that’s want women want so they will remember the wedding for the rest of their life !
3):Trips / Tourism After Wedding, and Probably at least once every year for the whole family, Counting Air fair, Sleeping in Motel / Hotels , Restaurants
4)Once your married Your also responsible for your wife’s finance problems College Cost that has not been paid off, Credit Cards debt, and Your Credit Score is autumnally impacted by her credit score , as hers is impacted / effected by yours score BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED !!!
5)Separations : These days it is very conman for people to separate temporarily instead of arguing or solving problems. Which is smart and dome at the same time! By the way during all the time your separated your partner could be cheating on you !!!
6)Clothing Cost : I admit living as a woman is difficult and costly but once any guy gets married, his clothing cost will probably triple that is 3 times more then you spend when you were single. This does not count cost of any child dippers, and clothes that sizes and style will be changing every 6 months .
7)Health Care insurance service , Co-pay is Sky rocketing !!! these days unless Obama solves the national healthcare problem!
8)EXTRAS : this includes Make-up, Laundry, Auto, Auto Insurance, Additional services like SPA / Fitness, Restaurants, shopping in malls and online, Additional Cell phone lines, Text message, and other similar cost.
9)AND EVENTUALLY there is the College cost for each student, whether a responsible parent puts 4% of each pay-check to a Saving account for each child’s long term education, or Barrows money form bank when the time comes, to give each child the opportunity to get Bachelors Degree or Masters
10)Now if anyone thinks *** is the main reason to get into long term relationship, I think that is one expensive *** comparing what all the cost you have to go through, and masturbating can be each cheap way to solve the problem, and buying hookers would be even cheaper make life so much easier !
11)There is no guarantee that wife will stay will you in long term, look over 50% USA population gets divorced at least once in the live time, and if child has divorced parents their probability of getting divorced is 7/10 ; so future generations will only have higher % of families getting divorced !
12)Long term expectation: If people are likely going to get divorced, then you can not rely or expect 100% confidence that you Partner will stay and support you until, no matter even if you get sick until you die. Like said during marriage ceremony.

NOW TELL ME THE BENEFITS, WHY exactly SHOULD any MEN MAN Be looking for long term series Relationship after reading all the above?

Ezra Alexandropoul

G B asked:


I got married around 7 months back. I have been going through heavy mental stress since my marriage. I work in corporate. My wife too works in reputed company. Ours is arranged marriage. Before marriage my wife used to talk nicely everybody in my family, now after marriage she does not want any of my close relative in our life. My parents live in separate house and they want us to live our life and do not want to interfere. They are now scared of this lady. In spite of this my wife cribs about them. I have been very close to my family since my childhood and she does not like that and often fights on these issues. She is extreme high fashion lady and I’ve been paying for all her expenses. She does not want to share a single rupee in our house. She does not even want to spend for her daily expenses which occur in canteen, her parties etc. I’ve been paying for her saving bonds etc, paying all household bills. Has “Spend his and Save mine attitude”. She loves to talk to her own relatives for hours. I have been paying for her phone bills. Most of my salary goes in paying EMIs for my house which I had bought before marriage. After buying house I am hardly left with any money at the middle of month. She monitors my salary statements closely. Asks many questions why I got less sal this month etc. She still expects I should buy her gifts etc. Because of my financial condition I try to avoid unwanted expenses, she often starts arguing on this issue. She does not wish to contribute not even in a single bill. All our plannings, commitments she made went up in smoke. She tells me her own ideas of saving money in her account. I feel like completely broken, mentally, financially. Not able to keep good health because of stress. Please suggest how I can improve my situation.

Thanks

Beau Durkin

LK asked:


My cousin Ryan got married last year. Eight months into his marriage, my other cousin; Ryan’s brother Jess, moved into Ryan’s apartment with Ryan and his wife because Jess didn’t get along with their step mom and he was just going to live with Ryan until he got on his feet and saved up enough money to get a place of his own (only for two and a half months).

Anyway, this happened a couple months ago. So the question is…Ryan’s wife seemed to be flirting with Jess the whole time he lived with them. Ryan came out of their bedroom where he was playing a computer game and he saw his wife with her head on Jess’ chest and Jess’ arm was around her. As soon as Jess saw Ryan come out, he kind of shrugged Ryan’s wife off of his chest really fast. Another time, Ryan and his wife got in a fight and his wife went to Jess for comfort and Jess would give her a hug and stuff. Also, Ryan said that his wife giggles alot when Jess says something and when Jess moved out and got a place of his own, whenever Jess would call, Ryan would talk to him but all of a sudden his wife would want to talk to him. Ryan said that one time, his wife and Jess were talking on the phone; or more that his wife was talking and Jess was listening; and it had no subject at all. They were basically talking about nothing. His wife was telling Jess about her health and then about her life when she was in high school and after awhile they had been talking for two hours!

Anyway, so that’s basically it. And also; Jess had a girlfriend the whole time he was living with Ryan (he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore he broke up with her because she cheated on him).

So my question is:
Do you think Ryan’s wife has a thing for Jess?
Do you think Jess kind of likes her? He had a girlfriend at the time and was a lot more cuddly with his girlfriend when she was over so that’s what makes me think he just being nice to Ryan’s wife. But I’m not sure, what do you think?

What’s going on?

Jeanne Leho

moonbeam asked:


I have always considered myself a thrifty person and responsible with money. Before I got married, I managed to pay off my student loans early, buy my own home, pay my credit cards in full each month, pay all other bills, save in my personal account and 401K and still have a little left for an occasional luxury. I went without a few things of course, like a new car, but I was happy. Fast forward a few years, I am married. We both work and split bills 50/50, even the grocery bills, even though he makes more than I do. I pay for my own health insurance at work and his is free for him as an individual. My husband itemizes the receipts each month and gets in a bad mood if it is more than he thinks it should be, even though I am paying for my share. I have tried to explain to him that as a woman, there are more things that I need to purchase at the grocery store (makeup, tampons, prescriptions, shaving cream). I also buy my own prepaid cell phone card there instead of paying more for a plan like he does, so that is another $20 every other month on the grocery bill. We recently remodeled our kitchen (which we paid for out of savings– not many people can say that they did that) and I’ve been wanting to finish decorating it, but he gets all persimmony about me spending money for drapes, art, etc. The truth is, we’ve got enough money coming in to pay for things, but he wants to sock it all away. I save the average 10%, (personal savings in addition to 401k) but for him, it isn’t enough. He thinks I should save more. It is making me miserable how controlling he is, this constant focus on money. By the way, he has no problem buying an IPod for himself and I don’t give him crap about it, because I feel like as long as he can pay his share of the bills and is saving, that is his business.

Oliva Crossland

Christina asked:


I have wanted to get a divorce for many years. We are currently selling our house. I have moved to another state with him so he could take another job because he was about to be laid off. I am currently not working. Is it possible to divorce at this time? I was told that I would have to have a full time job what would allow me to be independant for at least a year with benefits until everything was settled. He makes all the money and I’m afraid he will empty the accounts if I even discuss this with him. I was also told I would have to freeze checking and savings accounts and take steps to keep him from cancelling my health benefits and auto insurance. What should I do? Please help. Also, I was told I would have to divorce in the state he lives in our house being sold is in another state which is where I would rather be.
I feel like because I have changed locations so much to benefit his career mine has suffered and I’m not able to make enough money to get by
No children I’m in my 40′s
We talked about it kiddingly and he said thats ok..you wont get any money. I have been married for 21 years
I only would want to be fair but I suspect he will get nasty about it
No he’s not abusive I’m just exhausted with all the demands of the marriage..everything is centered around him and his career..his family.his friends

Pricilla Kittinger

krelcalu asked:


My husband tithes his 10% to his church every week. We went through a rough spot in our marriage some time ago and he believed it was because he had stopped going to church. For nearly a year now he has been back to church and pays a full 10% of gross salary every week. I am the one who monitors the rent, childcare, and utility bills for the household and my husband gives a set amount every week to help with bills. I have been paying $400 more a month than him to cover bills because he refuses to stop tithing. He has also stopped paying his credit card bills and has not enrolled in a health care program nor has he bought life insurance and he has no bank account, no savings, and retirement plan. We have another child on the way and are currently raising a toddler, with a upcoming maternity leave, I know we are in for a struggle with his tithing. I am concerned that we will wind up in a deeper hole. I told him we have to cut on something, if you insist on tithing then we cut Christmas gifts only buy for the children. He refuses. I’m going to have two young children and I just want the best for them I want us to save, to have our own home and we can’t even get on track. I don’t believe you have to pay for blessings and I don’t believe we are tied to laws of the old testament as Christians. My mother was recently evicted and I couldn’t help her and then I think about that $40 to $60 every week that my husband gives. I even suggested lowering the donation amount but no that doesn’t work for him either. It’s tithes+donation. When I speak against tithes my husband says its the devil talking. This is putting a strain on our marriage. I don’t appreciate being criticized in my own home or being demeaned because I don’t believe what he does. He has always been religious and when we met he went to church occassionaly up to twice a month or so and I sometimes went with him. After he insisted on tithing my attendence slowed because I didn’t think we could handle paying a combined $140 a week. I want our marriage to work but being in this situation is stressing us both out. I want him to understand financial responsibility and understand what I go through week to week trying to make ends meet. It’s not fair for him to tell me that he will pay his tithes first and then if he has enough to cover half of the bills he wil give it to me. Do you think there is some compromise we can make? From a religious perspective is there any biblical evidence that releases christians from tithing? A part of me wants to leave and let him handle things on his own for a while and see how it is but I work full time am in college as well and am going through a high risk pregnancy. I am at the end of my ropes, I don’t want to leave my husband but at times I feel as though he brings more stress to my life. I went from mixed family to a broken home to a couple of supposed step daddies and and mommies and have a slew of halfs- and steps-, I don’t want that for my children. What else can I do to make this work? We have other problems of course but this is our greatest stressor since I’ve been pregnant.

Robbie Mcguff