Health Savings Account-Health Savings Account Info

Miss Pink asked:


We’re both 27yrsold, and we’ve been dating for 2yrs. We get along great and we’re thinking of getting an apartment together once his lease is up in January. We’ve talked about marriage…but he says he’s scared of marriage and doesn’t want it for several years. He says he’d more willing to have a child with me first then to get married. He says he’d be okay with starting a family with me after a year of living together.

He also does not care about health insurance, having a savings account, going to college, or owning a home. He is very content renting and says he doesn’t want to be tied down with home ownership. He has a part time job that he loves, he’s a ballroom dance instructor. He has been doing it for 7yrs. He makes $1500 a month doing it. He wants to continue doing it for many years.

I sometimes get scared about the uncertainty or possible financial strains in the future if I decide to stay with him long term. I sometimes get the impression that he doesn’t want real concrete responsibilities. I don’t feel like he’s eager to be the “man” or a provider. He wants to work part time doing his same job in the evenings (he will watch our future kid during the day), while I work full time making more money than him (because I have a degree)..and then I’d have the child in the evening/at night. I can’t help but feel like I’d be the man in the relationship and wouldn’t get to be the mom I’d want to be either.

Alberto Padillia

Dr. S. Hansford asked:


My wife and I have been married since 1991. She’s stunningly gorgeous and I, well lets just say age hasn’t been as good to me.

I work late hours and have noticed my back door has been unlocked the last few weeks when I get in at 6am. Well, I did not want to scare her and let her know so I bought few video cameras and installed them in a place where the would not be noticed. I thought it was either a wild animal or a neighborhoo kid. To be honest, I wasn’t overly worried but I told a neighbor who is a deputy sheriff. He suggested putting the cameras in and then I’d catch the “intruder” on tape.

Well, I did so and sad to say, her boss (whom I introduced her to and got her her job) has been coming over around midnight. Each night they stand on the back porch and make out like to 18 year olds. Well, yesterday I went to her work and told her (after I knew the truth) that I was really concerned that there could be a predator on the loose. She looked at me and laughed and said “Oh I forgot to tell you that it was a neighbors cat opening the door” and that she had caught it last night.

I told her I was very relieved to know that all was well. Her boss was standing there and said that he too had been concerned and said ” I have been so worried that I almost bought her a gun”..

After she left I told her boss how much I appreciate him treating her so well. I said “Dave, you’ve been a great friend, I really appreciate you. By the way, if you ever see anyone messing with her, please call me as I will eliminate the problem real quick”…..he nearly peed his pants.

Well, her email address is braxtoncounty @ hotmail.com

I will NOT stay with a liar and cheater. This morning I sold our home (I inherited from my parents) for $1 to my nephew- we have no kids and the home was fully in my name). She has never worked and I’ve provided her with health insurance and a good quality of life since we married. I had $429,029 savings – cashed it in and placed in an off shore account. She drives a Chevy Tahoe which now has 4 slashed tires and no seats (burned them) and **** painted on the outside. YES, it’s in my name as well. I took the night off tonight and she and a friend went out of town this evening to a concert and are staying all night. Well, let’s just say the mess she’s coming home to won’t be much appreciated. In addition, I went to a horse farm and purchased 500 pounds of horse manure. I won’t tell you what I did with that.

If you’d like to email her and let her know that you feel bad for her she’ll probably get your mail on her Iphone while out with her friend.

Take Care

Tracy

In sook Spacek asked:


Simply put, i’m a penny pincher and he is a spender. In more detail, we are a new couple (married almost a year and now a baby on the way), I get very frustrated because i want to be able to save for bigger better things. our bills and debt are high, and we rent a small place for 300 a month. He has good fortune for making money, but spends it very quickly. I’m not trying to save for the sake of having a large number in our bank account. I want to save so that we don;t have to struggle for short term things like fixing the car, and i want to save for long term things like a down payment on the house.

On his end, i am trying to accept and understand hes wanting to spend. He likes to eat fast food every day if he can (which worries me for health reasons), and likes to go fishing (those are the big money “wasters). Fishing required gas to get to the good spots and expensive rods and lures to catch the big fish (that he doesn’t even like to eat anymore). On the other hand, we wants me to stop being so frugal and buy nice things for myself (which i greatly appreciate).

I can’t seem to find a balance. we’ve tried an allowance (even a generous one of 20% of our income which leaves us with only a little left over after the bills) for each of us, but he goes over every time! I’d like to NOT live in a 300 a month rental forever and skip the small stuff now for better things later. Overall it seems to make sense to him, but on a daily basis, we cant make it work! Most of the time i have to justify have any money in the savings account! HELP!

Dominica Screws

~Mrs Ali~ asked:


How do you explain to your husband that just because he buys me things, goes to work everyday for our family, and take care of us financially. That’s wonderful but you still need to work on us. That has nothing to do with money. Emotional efforts? My job is children and the house. But i do not think that has anything to do with our emotional relationship. I still think that i (and him) need to do things for each other to show each other love. Our only fight comes from money. He thinks money is enough and i have no right to be upset when he acts like a idiot. Because “my life is so good”. How dare i be unhappy with him?

He is very smart about money. We have a very large savings account. And when he finds it important to go and buy new tv’s and work out equipment he has no problem pulling money out (ITS FOR MY HEALTH)…He has a 3 year gym membership he doesnt use. But when we need a dresser and i ask to buy one. He says .”Where do you think that money comes from”?” “Our savings.” . We have discussed he makes the money decisions because he has a better track record. But you know sometimes i would like to have a small say in the things that go on. We are going to go to counseling just to work these issues out..But i would love an outside opinion.
I watch another child in my home for a little extra income. Plus day care is almost 1000 here PER CHILD…so going to work isn’t an option…But i really wish it was…

Ted Kantis

Bagels asked:


I am married 6 yrs-no kids- i have worked for approx 10 years now as a per-diem worker with NO benefits (spouse carries them all). He has all the 401k through his employer and health benefits! Our house and one car are in his name. I have NO savings of my own. I have opened a savings account and will start accruing money there…but what else should I be doing to prepare. I dont konw if we are going to divorce but I know for about 4yrs now I have felt financially trapped many times…. I need to be doing something to protect myself? WHAT should I do now? I am in my middle 30s and “technically” if we divorce I have NO assets? Should I be getting the house in my name? I know I should open my own 401K-but should I put it just in my name? I really am lost w/ all of this stuff but I want to be independent from him in the event that we ever separate or divorce. Everything is in his name- so I assume I wouldnt get anything. When you first marry-you are so trusting…Im stupid I guess! PS- there are no children & probably never will be! Please give any advise you can! Assume I know NOTHING Thanks!
Raj…. Im not sure that is always true in the US anymore is it? The house/car/nothing has my “name” on it except our bank account-which used to be his alone but he had me added. I suppose he could unadd me very easily? Is that 50% true even in that event?

Jeffery Kushlan

Dimples1 asked:


I need advice on how to tell my husband the importance of helping my beloved mother (widow) financially. I’m Hispanic. We were raised to always love one another, and help one another in our family with anything!!! I am a very family-oriented person!! I love my family and my husband very much!! I grew up with the thought that I will always help my family in any way, especially financially whenever they needed it. My husband and I have a different way of thinking when it comes to helping out family members with money.

He is a very bright person!! He went to school and recieved the highest degree one can get in the health field. ( I don’t want to say what he got his degree in since that is not important in this topic.) He makes a six figure income, and he knows how to invest and save money!! Every cent counts for him!! I’m not saying that’s bad. I also work. I don’t even make close to what he makes in a year, and I want to help my mother financially which he opposes!! I want to always help my mom since I am working, and I plan on doing so for the rest of my life (up until my good health permits.) I believe that I make enough money to be able to financially help my beloved mother. My husband and I have a joint account, and he says that it is him and not me that is financially helping my mom because he’s the one that is “really making the money.” That’s what he says. My thought is that I work full time, and I make decent money. I am helping my mother because I know that I can afford to do so since I do work, and I want to always help her!! I don’t think that there is anything wrong with this. My parents helped my grandparents financially whenever they needed some money.

We were both raised differently. He doesn’t believe in giving our money away to family members. He does believe in loaning money to his family or my family if they need it. His family doesn’t need our financial support at this time, and he says that they will never need it, nor ever move in with us because they need some place to live. He says that they have solved all of that in case they find themselves in that situation—(I don’t mind to help them at all if they ever needed our help.) On the other hand, my family doesn’t have that much money. My mother lives with my youngest sibling. All of my other siblings are married just like I am. We all financially help my beloved mother including my youngest sibling who lives with her. My husband and I are not in any financial burden! We have a lot of money saved up! I am working and I feel that I can help my mother with groceries once or twice a month!! My other siblings also help my mom out with money. My mother never asks me for any help!!! I offer to help her out if I see that she is struggling financially. What is your opinion about my situation?? He doesn’t want any kids if this matter isn’t resolved. He doesn’t want me to help my mom by buying her groceries. He says it’s fine to loan her money since we will get the money back. I do want kids, and I’m in my 30’s. My biological clock is ticking. He says that this issue can lead into a divorce in the future so it’s better if we don’t have kids. I agree about not having kids when this is an issue even though I want kids so bad!! He’s afraid that I’m going to help my mom with all her financial needs. He doesn’t understand that all of my siblings and I are equally helping her!! Please help! Need some advice. Thank you!
Just to answer a few of your questions: The reason why I call my mother “my beloved mother” is because I love her so much!! She is very precious and dear to me!!! I do have a good job in the health field with excellent medical benefits!! I am planning to go back to school so I can get a better job!! My mom ( a widow since last year) is in her 60′s. She definitely does not want to depend on anyone of her kids, and I understand that, but because I love her dearly I will always help her!! Yes, my husband and I need to compromise on this topic. We do love each other a lot!!! I pray and have faith that our issue will be resolved soon! I know that we will talk this over.

Marquetta Denk

Bing Pugeda asked:


I have been having an extramarital affair with a married man for several years. We first met in a Gulf country, where we both were working. We were alone, and away from our families. Moreover, he was rich, attractive and lonely. I couldn’t resist the temptation to fall for this man, mostly because he showed interest in me and showered me with a lot of love, gifts, money and trips around the world. In exchange I gave him my love and we developed an intimate sexual relationship as well. After we both left that country and went back to our own separate countries, we kept in close contact over telephone, e-mail and instant messages.

Finally, after his insistence, inspiration and financial help, I came to the USA, where he was living with his family. In the beginning, he kept it a complete secret from his wife & was spending long hours with me. After a couple of months, his wife got suspicious and checked his phone logs. When she called the number that she couldn’t recognize, which was mine, I didn’t talk to her. My lover became more careful in keeping our affair secret. I had no problem as my husband was back in Philippines with our four children, one grandchild and my friends were very supportive in the US.

But my lover’s wife started to dig more and somehow she got into his e-mail account. Found a lot of e-mail from me, luckily most of them were dirty jokes and correspondence to various doctors. My lover had a health problem and was looking for a donor. I helped him corresponding with many doctors all over the world. Unfortunately, there were two personal e-mail from both of us, which my lover forgot to delete. His wife was furious & threatened to divorce him, but my lover came up with an excuse & told her that he pretended to be in love with me because I promised to donate an organ for him. Also, he promised to be a good boy & stop all contacts with me. I guess, considering his health condition, his wife took him in. But of course, we kept in touch, writing, seeing, calling each other, but this time with extra caution. After a few months, my lover left the USA for his home country where he found a donor.

Things got worse after his departure, his wife somehow went into his e-mail account and found some most recent e-mail from both of us right before his departure. One day, when my lover’s instant message sign was on, I gave out a lot of information to his wife, thinking it was him. She surely saved a copy of that conversation. I revealed that after his departure we kept calling each other. She even checked with his office in the Gulf and found out more info about our love affair there and saved copies of those instant messages. One thing led to another, she found proofs about our trips to Bangkok and other countries. Since she got suspicious she checked his bank account and found out that he spent a lot of cash before and during my arrival to his country. My lover was on disability because of his health, and didn’t spend any money for his family after he returned from the Gulf. Now his wife hates both of us, she is determined to divorce her husband and ruin my family by disclosing my affair to my husband. She found my home number in my lover’s notebook & called my husband twice. But fortunately, my husband doesn’t know much English and she was not able to communicate with him but she told everything to my 17 y/o daughter, who acted as an interpreter. Obviously, my daughter kept my affair hidden from my husband.

I’m scared what if the my lover’s wife sends all the documents to my husband! I sincerely love this man (my lover), he told me that his wife treated him like a dog, and treated me so preciously, I want to be with him but I don’t want to leave my husband. My husband and children live on my meager salary, but do you think he (my husband) will dare leave me if he finds out about my affair?

Bruno Rampa

RWT asked:


Sorry this is so long, I’m a little worked up.

My husband and I are arguing about how to pay the taxes and insurance on our house. When we bought the house, I made the down payment from the sale of the house I had before we got married. He was going to pay back half of the down payment after he sold “his” house. “His” house still isn’t on the market a year later. When we applied for the mortgage he didn’t want an escrow account and agreed to pay the taxes and insurance when it was due.

We both have very good incomes but he makes twice what I make. We have completely separate finances. I pay for our health/life insurance, our groceries, my credit card bills, my car expenses, the maid and anything else we need for the house as well as trips and vacations out of my salary. He pays the mortgage and utility bills and his own credit card bills and car expenses. This leads to a little resentment on my part because he’s always buying expensive toys for himself and then claiming to be broke when it’s time to contribute to our IRA or we need something for the house or something needs to be repaired. The nice thing is we rarely fight over how we spend our money and each have a lot of freedom to do as we please.

Now the taxes and insurance are due on the house and he’s mad because he thinks I should pay half. I’m fine with splitting all of our expenses as long as we split the money that’s leftover as well. He doesn’t think that is fair because he makes more than I do and should have more discretionary money.

Am I being unfair here to think that he should pay the taxes and insurance? If I had known I would be responsible for half, I’d have been saving a little every month. If I pay my half, I won’t have any savings left and he’ll still have over $20,000 in his checking account.
I agree with all of you that we should be working as a team on this but he refuses to sit down and talk about a budget. I’ve always thought of everything as “ours” but that mentality is getting me taken advantage of (at least from my perspective).

I also agree that we need counseling, but he doesn’t want to do that either.

Dominique Swofford

?*´`*•. mommy?*´`*•. asked:


Well Im due in about 5 more days, and Im still working. My husband works in construction and I work in a small office.
ever since we got married he said we have to split the bills and mortgage. (Even though he makes way more than me, and his mother lives in our home for free!!) I thinks its so unfair!! But thats ok, until about a month ago! I am due in about 5 more days with my 1st baby, and Im still working 2 days a week, I pay for my own health insurance thru work, but now that I leave I will have to pay my health insurance, and unfortunately I will not have paid leave of absence. So I will not be making any money for the next 2 1/2 months. And my husband expects me to pay the same amount of money a month $500.00 plus my my health insurace and my bills!!! even if im not working! I feel horrible! its not like its just me whos pregnant, why is he doing this to me! Luckily I have my own money saved in my bank account but its not much, but I will be left with nothing when go back 2work

Quinn Beelar

Sue asked:


My aunt is about 53 years old and lives in Cali. I live in Houston, Texas. She has been married for about twenty five- twenty seven years and has been in the process since around Spring of Last year of divorcing her husband; which becomes final within the next week or two. Her husband, my uncle by marriage is something to be desired. From what I have heard from my grandmother during the marriage they had a joint bank account.Or maybe they had their own ones I do not remember. He was always taking money from one of the accounts and spending it all on his family back in Cuba. They both emigrated from Cuba to the United States. I know sometimes people want to help their family back home but he makes less money than she does; he is a security guard at a bank He barely finished high school. She has an associates degree but I do not remember if she ever went for her bachelors. I forgot the occupation she is in now but she makes a decent amount of money. My grandmother always wondered where he got all the money to spend on his family in Cuba. She thinks he had been stealing from my aunt. Also, he is a complete tightwad. I understand wanting to save money but he rarely ever did anything nice for his family or anything romantic for his wife. On the outside they seemed to be a romantic couple and seemed to be affectionate but it often made my family members wonder what was really going on. I am 28 and my two cousins, their daughters are 24 and 21. Also he has been a very abusive and domineering man. Everything always had to be done his way and he rarely took into account how it would affect his family. In the 1990s, I was around my preteen-teen years. He had been very abusive toward my cousins, hitting them and beating them to the point where they had bruises and broken bones. My aunt never lifted a finger to stop him or do anything. When my grandmother would visit and mention anything my aunt would say that his hand slipped. I have heard from some of my relatives and I have noticed a few times that he had been verbally abusive to my aunt. I am not sure about physically abusive. He has never tried to help my cousins in any part of the educational process at least partly even it is something simple like paying for school books. Of course, my cousins had been working in high school and college and stuff so they had their own money to do things and stuff but if they ever needed a hand or wanted to borrow money for anything my uncle always said no. The oldest daughter left the house at 18 and went to college for Criminal Justice and just finished with her masters. She is working as an administrative assistant or substitute teacher at a school and is also looking for a cJ related job.The youngest one is majoring in Health and works in a nursing/health home part time. They have had I do not know how many boyfriends and only two or three had any morals, drive or ambition. The most recent ones have been lowlife scumbags, not abusive but college drop outs or not wanting to work and stuff among other things.

My aunt met this woman on the internet in a chat room. I do not remember what type of group it was for. She has know her for the past six months to a year and had always exchanged e-mails and photos. My aunt came out and said she was a lesbian; i never noticed anything growing up at all and I tend to be observant. I know that people are born that way but I am wondering if she could also be that way because of her situation cause I know there can be cases like that. Anyway, the woman lives in Chile, she is young enough to be her daughter at 24 years old. When my aunt went to visit her she spent time with her and the family. My aunt went there with several hundred dollars in her pocket and came back empty to California. The young woman is a gold digger and had Maria pay for several procedures, medical stuff; basically my aunt was spending all the money on her and she never did anything for Maria. The girl I guess may or may not be going to school but she has to work several jobs to support her family because they are in poverty. My grandmother does not care if her daughter is *******. My grandmother had a somewhat conservative Catholic upbringing but has mellowed out and grown more liberal throughout the years but she still likes that herdaughters’s andgran daughterss have some sense of ethics. My cousins have tried my aunt that she is being used but she does not listen and my grandmother does not approve. I am not sure of the sexual relationship between the two but my aunt always writes about how completely happy she is on herface bookk page and I am astounded as to how she can be so blind. My grandmother always tells my mom, dad and myself about all this. We live in Texas and the rest of the family is back in Cali. I am sure my aunt must be getting something good out of the relationship because she says she is happy. She saw her not even six months ago and wants to see her in May even though the country has had two e

Lyndsey Gall